Yesterday, I had the most peculiar thing happen to me.
I’d been using this lotion for pregnant women (hey, as long as it doesn’t impregnate me, what’s the harm?) so I decided to try the companies “mint scent for tired pregnant legs”. Again, I’m not pregnant but I have been exercising (for 3 days) and my legs are really tired.
I hopped out of the shower (sorry for the visual but it’s a crucial part of the story), squirted the lotion on my hands (this is taking a weird turn, huh?) and massaged it into my legs (ankle to thigh). It felt great.
Until it didn’t.
The burning sensation started at my calves (not sure how my ankles escaped the fire) and it worked itself up to my thighs and then all the way up to my….yep you guessed it….My Lady Parts.
Here’s the mystery. Obviously, I didn’t put it THERE (I can’t bring myself to say it again). What do I do? I’d wipe it off, but I DID NOT put it THERE so there’s absolutely nothing to wipe off! It’s times like this when I wish we had a HAZMAT washdown station in the house.
I can’t go to the ER. I will not go to the ER. At this point, I can’t even phone a friend. That’s a lie, I could have phoned quite a few of my crazy friends but with my luck, I would have gotten lotion on the phone that would have surely gone directly in my eye. Then I would have two completely different body parts on fire and how in the heck would I explain that to the hot doctor that was on call that afternoon.
I decided to get myself dressed (in breathable fabric) and prepare myself in the event I needed to get professional help. And than something amazing happened….
It started cooling down, like a summer’s breeze and all seemed right in my world again.
Thankfully, none of my fragile body parts were injured. The “lady” was traumatized with this unfamiliar menthol sensation but she’s been through worse.