2nd Child Syndrome

Putting away old photo albums and I’m noticing that I’m either 3 months or 4 years old in all our pictures.

3 years and 9 months of missing footage. Something big went down. I feel it in my joints.

Theories:

*I was in the baby witness protection program.

*I was adopted illegally.

*They’re white, I’m half Mexican. It took them 3 years and 9 months to figure how to manage my hair.

*My toddler brother sold the camera for baseball cards that he later sold for beer cans (kind of a true story).

*No one cares about child #2

*They sent me back to the “Mothers Home” in Chicago to live with the nuns again until I could get my sh*t together…literally. “Don’t come back until you are potty trained!”

Anyway, in case you’re wondering, I’m overly tired and I drank a cup of coffee 45 minutes ago. This is my brain on caffeine.

#whatswrongwithmyeye #isthisreallyme #secondchildproblems

DS

Advertisements

Christmas Pictures

Oh Holy Hell, there is no greater motivating factor (to get in shape) than to have your 80 year old father take Christmas pictures (he had them developed today).
Bad angle? He don’t care. A mouth full of food? He don’t care. In the middle of talking? He don’t care.
Every single picture is taken from his recliner. If you were in view, you were in the pic.
The best part….he thinks we all look wonderful. At the end of the day, I guess that’s all that really matters.
I’m just lucky he’s mine.
P.S. Don’t tell him, but I snuck 3 of the worst pictures in my purse. I basically just stole from my own father.